


i don't get lonely with you

by itjustkindahappened



Series: skam fic week [2]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Analysis, Cuddling, Emotions, F/F, Fluff, Kinda?, Sharing a Bed, ambiguous - Freeform, if you squint ??????? but mostly this is Fluff, pretty much a fix it fic too jfdbj, there's no real plot i guess but it's full of gentleness and feelings!!!!!, this is basically just a mess of emotions tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 18:52:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11812110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itjustkindahappened/pseuds/itjustkindahappened
Summary: Her platinum blonde hair spreads softly against the blue fabric under her like pearly water streams, like her thoughts are dappled in silver and pouring out on Sana’s pillow, leaving it there to later seep into the creases of Sana’s mind and make her world a little lighter.They just seem to work that way, Sana thinks.





	i don't get lonely with you

**Author's Note:**

> this is uhhhh idk what this is???? but i wanted to write something vilde/sana bc i think their potential was so wasted in the show (not to mentioned tarnished along with vilde's character for the majority of s4). i know it's not a popular ship but it's very dear to my heart. i hope this story makes sense beyond all the emotional rambling i've managed to squish in :')

Vilde is so, so drunk, and she doesn’t want to go home, and Sana’s parents are out of town. It’s only logical that she ends up taking the blonde girl with her to stay the night.

(Besides, Sana is usually the one to take care of Vilde when they go out. When they all go partying and things get too messy, Noora will take care of Eva and Sana will take care of Vilde or Chris or both, depending on how intoxicated they are. Sometimes the three of them will end up in a cuddly pile in Chris’ room, huddled together as close as they can, giggling into each other’s ears, and Sana will think that this, this is what belonging feels like.)

Something’s been bothering Vilde all night, Sana can tell. Her eyes haven’t been quite as bright and her smile a little dull around the edges, and she’s been on a headfast mission to get drunk as quickly and severely as possible. Despite of that, Sana still finds her out on the steps of the house where this weekend’s party is by midnight, with slouching shoulders and a wish to leave. Sana decides to take her home and sends away a text to the other girls to let them know what’s going on, but at the word “home”, Vilde refuses and refuses and nearly cries.

So off they are to Sana’s home, instead. It’s not a very quick and efficient walk, because Vilde can barely stand straight and Sana has to guide her with an arm around her waist the whole way, and they make a stop for Vilde to empty her insides onto the concrete, too. But they get there in the end.

Sana’s intention is to pull out a mattress to lay out on her floor so Vilde could have her own bed space while Sana would still be able to keep an eye on her and make sure she’s feeling alright.

That’s not what Vilde has in mind.

Because as soon as they stumble into Sana’s room, Vilde frees herself from Sana’s supporting arm and drops down on Sana’s bed, immediately taking up as much space as she can and limbs stretched out like a starfish. Her platinum blonde hair spreads softly against the blue fabric under her like pearly water streams, like her thoughts are dappled in silver and pouring out on Sana’s pillow, leaving it there to later seep into the creases of Sana’s mind and make her world a little lighter.

They just seem to work that way, Sana thinks.

It’s not like they didn’t get off to a rough start, her and Vilde—Vilde was close-minded and Sana was closed off, and it was too different and too much and Sana never did have time for ignorant people incapable of learning, anyway. If anyone would’ve told her back then that she’d end up being this close to Vilde, she would’ve laughed in their face and told them to fuck off.

But somewhere along the line, they found a balance. Somewhere along the line, Vilde stopped asking questions to uphold whatever disillusions she had about Sana and Islam, and started asking questions to _learn_. Somewhere along the line, Vilde started listening and so Sana started talking, and the more they opened up to each other, the more of a mutual understanding they found in each other, too.

Sana admires Vilde in many ways, now. It must take a lot of strength, she thinks, to stay this bright and trusting of the world around her despite it hurting her over and over. Sana knows she couldn’t always do that.

Maybe her softness is part of what’s keeping Sana from fulfilling her plan about that extra mattress. Vilde looks too cozy where she is, hands stroking up and down the soft duvet like she’s not meant to be anywhere else but there. She opens her eyes for a bit to fix them on Sana.

“Will you hold me?” she asks quietly, small pout on her pink lips and a sort of glossy vulnerability in her eyes. “I think I really need a hug right now.”

Sometimes Vilde is like this. Sana likes to think she’s one of the very few who gets to see it.

She lies down next to her on the bed as a silent invitation, and Vilde is quick but careful when she shuffles closer until her head is resting in the crook of Sana’s neck and her arm is draped across Sana’s stomach. Sana’s own arm comes up to rest on top of it, and then they just lie. They both need this sometimes, Sana figures.

Vilde has things on her mind, though, that much Sana’s already gathered, so when the girl opens her mouth to break the silence, it’s not a surprise.

“I think I’m going to break up with Magnus,” she mumbles against Sana’s collarbone. It makes Sana tense up a bit, because she knows Vilde’s only telling her this because she’s drunk and sleepy and slightly delirious, but on the other hand she thinks that Vilde probably needs to let this out.

“Yeah?” she just answers, and Vilde nods in small motions.

“He loves me so much,” she sighs wistfully. “And I just—I don’t _feel_. He holds my hand and it’s just—a _hand_. He kisses me and it’s just wet. You know? There’s no…”

She lets out a hushed whooshing noise and flicks her fingers out in front of her to illustrate an explosion of some sort.

“I’ve tried to feel it. Because I do love him too,” she continues. “I do. He’s so kind to me. But it’s… It’s not like the movies.”

Sana doesn’t know what to say. She’s been suspecting it, with how sometimes Vilde can’t seem to help but act like being around Magnus instead of the girls is more of a duty than something she wants to do, with how the relationship never seems to have any depth to her besides sex. Sana wants to be supportive but she also doesn’t know what Vilde wants to hear.

“Love isn’t always like the movies,” she settles for at last.

Vilde is quiet for a few beats. She shuffles a little closer, turning over so she’s more on her stomach.

“This feels like the movies,” she says.

Sana’s chest tingles. Her vision is speckled with silver dust.

They continue to lie in silence for a while, the warmth of Vilde’s breath softly tickling Sana’s jaw and Sana’s fingers wandering up and down Vilde’s arm, Vilde’s hair, Vilde’s cheek. They’re both so soft. Sana allows herself to be soft with Vilde.

“I love you so much,” Vilde suddenly says out of nowhere, determination in the way she forms her words. “You do know that, right? You’re my favorite person. You always look after me.”

Sana nods quietly, not able to stop herself from smiling warmly into Vilde’s hair at her outburst. It smells like raspberries.

“Of course. I’ll always look after you.”

Vilde lets out a satisfied hum.

“I wish you’d let me look after you sometimes, too,” she mumbles, then, and swallowing is suddenly harder for Sana. “You’re so strong and put up with so much, but you don’t always have to do it alone.”

It’s difficult to find the words after that, as Sana opens and closes her mouth time and time again in search for the right thing to say. Because she wants to say so much. Thank you, she wants to say. Don’t worry about it, she wants to say. I can handle it on my own, she wants to say. You make me feel less alone by just smiling, she wants to say.

“I know,” she ends up going with, and she bites her cheek to keep her voice steady. “I know. It’s not that I don’t trust you, I promise.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Vilde sighs. “I just—want it to be _mutual_. Because I just feel like I can tell you everything, you know? You’re the one person I admire the most. I always look at you and I think, ‘I should be more like Sana’. And I know that you won’t think I’m dumb, no matter what I tell you. So many people think I’m dumb, I know they do. But you don’t.”

“You aren’t,” Sana whispers, but there’s a pressure behind her words now. “Don’t let anyone tell you you’re dumb, Vilde.”

“I don’t,” Vilde promises. “It doesn’t really matter, anyway. Because you listen to me, and that’s enough. I just want you to know that I’ll always listen to you, too. So you can listen to me and I can listen to you and we can listen to each other and I’ve said listen too many times now. It sounds like a fake word. _Listen_.”

Sana huffs out a weak chuckle and her grip on Vilde tightens.

“I know you will. It’s okay.”

Vilde nods, seemingly happy with that answer.

“Can I tell you one more thing?” she asks.

“Of course.”

Silence. Sana counts to five and a half seconds. And then;

“I’m think I’m gay,” Vilde whispers dramatically with a small giggle. “Did you know?”

Sana did have an idea. She’s always been observant, always been able to read people, learn their weaknesses and strengths and little quirks. That’s what happens when you have a habit of ending up on the outside. You see the bigger picture of things others are too up-close to make out.

And she’s seen Vilde. She’s seen the absent-minded but longing look in her eyes when they pass two girls holding hands in the street, she’s seen the stiffness of her shoulders when Magnus would talk about _forever_ , she’s heard her repeat that wanting to kiss girls doesn’t _have_ to mean that you’re gay, over and over as if to reassure herself rather than argue a point to others, she’s heard the wavering of her nervous laughter as she dodged profounder questions about her own relationship.

Sana’s had her suspicions for a while. She’s been patiently waiting for Vilde to come to terms with it at her own pace, making sure to be there when the day comes, but she’s known.

She’s always seen Vilde.

“I didn’t,” she whispers back. Their fingers intertwine gently.

Vilde sighs lightly.

“Well,” she shrugs. “Now you do.”

Sana nods, swallowing around the lump that’s slowly growing in her throat and running her free hand through Vilde’s soft hair.

“Now I do,” she agrees.

They’re going to have a real talk in the morning. Sana is going to make Vilde breakfast and get her an aspirin and they’re going to eat in bed and when Vilde’s ready, they’re going to talk. Not just Vilde, but Sana, as well. They’ll spend hours and hours just talking and contemplating and opening up. And if Vilde feels ready to repeat that last confession of hers when sober, Sana thinks she might just tell her, “me, too”.

But for now, they’re going to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> as always, thank you for reading, kudos and comments make me the happiest person in the whole wide world, and please come be my friend on tumblr @tequiladimples xxxxxx


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